Minding the Kids

When talking to my husband about some rule or standard that upsets me, I sometimes preface my preferred version with “In my universe…”

Now that you’ve had that fascinating glimpse into my mind, here is something that really gets me miffed. I recognize it is an incredibly unimportant and trite thing, but it still irks me.

I get upset when someone says their spouse, one half of the parenting team, are “babysitting” their own offspring. While I have heard the term babysitting used by women to explain that their husband would be watching the kids while she goes out, I’m sure there are husbands who refer to their wives as babysitting as well; I’ve just never heard it. It’s also not unusual to hear dads refer to themselves as “babysitting” for their own children. As best I can recall, I have never heard a woman refer to herself or another woman as babysitting for their own kids.

In my universe, the mother/father who stays at home with their child while their spouse goes out is not babysitting. He/She is watching their children, spending time with their children, overseeing their children. The parent is not babysitting. And what about single parents who are pretty much always watching their kids. Are they babysitting?

Here is what dictionary.com says about the word babysitter:

ba·by·sit·ter also ba·by-sit·ter

n :
A person engaged to care for children when the parents are not home
A person engaged to care for one or more children in the temporary absence of parents or guardians

Naturally, I did not include the below definition because it did not suit my needs:

A person who cares for or watches over someone or something that needs attention or guidance

There is a series of books called “The Babysitter Club” which I doubt feature parents trying to improve their babysitting skills. Red Cross offers a Babysitting Certification class that is probably not scheduled at 8pm weeknights so parents can attend after their long commute home from work.

In my universe where I make the rules and set the standards, if you are watching your own children, you are not babysitting. You are watching your kids. A certain percent may even be enjoying the experience. If you are fortunate enough to have grandparents, aunts, uncles, other relatives or even nice neighbors who watch your children while you and your spouse go out on the town (either together or apart), they are babysitting. The person you pay to watch your children: a babysitter.

In my universe, if you are the only adult home with your pre-adolescent child or children, it’s not called babysitting. It’s called being a parent. It pays less than babysitting but once the kids are in bed, you can control the remote, snack unsupervised, and chat away on the phone. When I was in my teens and an actual babysitter, I never had a boyfriend to sneak over. When my husband goes away for a night next month, I still won’t have a boyfriend to sneak over. Some things never change.