In The Blink Of An Eye

In my first blog entry, I said I didn’t know where this blog thing was headed, but was going to mess around with it anyway. The few things I have written about thus far have been silly, but today I feel compelled to write about something that seemed like a big deal at the time, but to my surprise, has kept growing. The event happened just yesterday, and it keeps knocking around my brain. As someone who tends to ruminate, I try and stay away from “what-ifs” since they can drive you batty, but I have been visited by the what-if monster on this one, and I have had a tough time making it go away.

Recently, a friend told me about a private swim school that sounded great. I gave them a call and was very excited to find out they had a spot available for my son Graham who is 3, so I grabbed it. Yesterday was his first lesson.

The school is held at an upscale hotel in an even more upscale town, so I was very content sitting in a nice poolside chair, letting the sun shine down on me on me thru the glass atrium roof, while I watched Graham having the time of his young life. His lesson was conducted during a major lull, so it was just Graham, and 2 instructors in the pool, and they were showering him with attention. Another mom was off in a corner far from the pool dressing her 2 boys who'd just finished their lessons. I’m guessing they were 3 & 4 years old. As I sat there with a grin on my face watching Graham, I noticed one of the little boys, still in his swim trucks wandering around. I started looking around the beautiful pool setting when I turned my head right and saw the bottom of the little boys feet disappearing into the pool. One second he was wandering, next second in the pool. There were no grown ups around except for me about 15 feet away, both instructors in the middle of the pool with Graham their backs to me, no one else in the pool or poolside, the folks running the swimming school in back at their office area, and a BIG “No lifeguard on duty sign.” This was not a good scenario. I’m pretty sure I yelled something like “he’s in the pool.” Had my performance been an Olympic event my lunge to the cement poolside would have been judged as “ugly,” “lacking grace, and “a disgrace to the American people,” all of which would be accurate. From my knees, I looked down and there was the little boy, going down. He was not fighting. I don’t recall seeing any motion. He was just sinking. Reaching in, I was able to grab his arm and pull him out of the pool. He came out of the water screaming. By then, one of the instructors saw the commotion and made his way over. He looked at me with his jaw open and eyes wide. The mother grabbed up her other child and ran over. The boy was frightened, but otherwise seemed fine.

I kneeled poolside for a few seconds in a state of shock. As best I understand it takes a bit of time for damage to happen when the brain is deprived of oxygen, and the boy was in the water just a few seconds, but they were a scary few seconds for both the little boy and this old girl. My pants and one arm of my turtleneck sweater were soaked thru, so I walked around a little from both nervous energy and trying to pull the clothes off my skin. The mom came up (son still screaming) and gave me a very nice thanks. The instructors thanked and complimented me. (In their defense, the lesson was over and it was no doubt the mom’s job to be supervising her child.)

When the mom and her 2 boys were leaving, they walked by me and she said “say thank you to the lifesaver.” In an aw sucks moment, I responded “someone else would have seen and helped him” and I meant it. But she smiled and said “but you did.”

Once Graham and I got home, my leg had stiffened up a bit and when I looked down I saw blood on the right knee area of my new Levi’s. I got a little pissed as I don’t often buy myself clothes and these were pricey pants. I told my husband what happened, and emailed a few friends interested friends about the lesson and what happened. Aside my my boo boo hurting, I didn’t give it more thought.

A few hours later when I closed my eyes to sleep, it was like the Zapruder film started running in my brain, only it contained the pool incident not the assassination of a president. My brain started to view the whole incident from every possible angle, and examine all the possibilities. I really just wanted to sleep. After a lot of tossing and turning and my trying to turn off the movie in my brain, it looked as if there was a distinct possibility that no one would have noticed the boy was in the pool for a dangerously long time. It turned the film in my brain into more of a horror movie than a documentary.

I’m not trying to claim to have done a grand thing here. It’s much easier to believe that someone else would have seen the situation, acted quickly, and brought about a happy ending. My point is really to try and exorcise the nasty “what-if” demon.

The incident also reinforced a belief I have held for a long time - things happen fast. It can be news someone tells you out of the blue, it can be because you turned your head at the wrong moment, or because weren’t looking in the right direction. Sometimes it's because of a decision someone else makes. Maybe it’s a force of nature. For better or for worse, your life really can change in the blink of an eye.

When it comes to raising kids, it’s tough to balance parental paranoia with allowing a wide range of life experiences. Things do happen fast. I guess part of a parent’s job is to be just a tad faster. Sometimes, if you're lucky, it may make a difference.