Thinking Outside The Checkbook

In general I try to be a generous person. Usually the easiest way to try and make a difference is to write a check, and I am all for that kind of easy. But my reality is I don’t have a lot of money, so that makes the whole checkbook thing while possible, a bit embarrassing. I’m pretty sure I wrote a fair number of $5.00 checks in college, but that seemed ok. At 41, it seems silly. Forgive my shallowness, but that’s how it feels.

Not having dough to back me up, I’ve been forced to try and think outside my checkbook to try and be a charitable person who makes a difference. I’ve moved perhaps thousands of boxes of books at my local library over the past 11 years, and tried to help out friends in need when the call comes, but a bit over a year ago, I got involved with something that caused me to invest more of myself that I ever had before.

Around October of 2004, I got the heartbreaking news that a local woman’s 2 year old son had been diagnosed with cancer. Cancer. A two year old. The child’s mom Dana was a friend of my friend Jen, and I felt just awful. Shortly before I got that news, I had started to work with my friend Amy, a very talented web designer. Amy taught me a lot about site maintenance, and I provide web content for some of her projects and clients. Anyway, Jen let me know the family had a Yahoo Groups site set up to help keep people in the loop on how her son Brent was doing with his treatments as so on. Brent had neuroblastoma, and while there is not such thing as a good pediatric cancer, nb as I have come to know it, is particularly evil. Often kids are diagnosed at Stage 4 (very advanced) because it often does not present symptoms until the late stages. I tried to keep up with Brent news thru Yahoo groups, but found it a bit tough based on the format. I then I got the idea that Amy should make a website for the family, and I could maintain it! Amy is a good egg and went along with my plan, and Dana accepted our offer. I like to think Amy agreed to the site before I actually asked Dana, but the details feel murky at this point. Yeah, I must have checked with Amy first, right? I mean c’mon.

It took a lot of work, work but we got the site up and running and it was a hit. Not only did it save the family countless phone calls from well meaning and loving people who needed news of Brent, but it allowed everyone to feel involved. The site also allowed people to sign up and bring meals to the family, or contribute to the “Bodega” a friend of the family set up to accept contributions of goods needed for about 2 months of isolation Brent was to face for 2 brutal stem cell transplants. The site made a difference. In addition, the site has helped the family raise over $250,000 towards fighting pediatric cancer.

How else have I tried to make a difference? I try and donate blood on a regular basis. Ok, so I blew off my last scheduled appointment to see Jimmy Buffett, but I try! I’ve also started donating platelets, a more involved process that gives folks undergoing cancer treatment clotting material they lack to help them heal. I do that because a brave local girl and friend of Brent’s went thru a lot of platelets while fighting for her life. She lost. Another friend of mine lost her 2 year old nephew to a brain tumor. Crazy stuff. The other day, I saw my neighbors dog out free, picked him up, put him in the back of my car and brought him back to his house safe and sound.

What’s my point? I’m not trying to earn halo points since I’m not convinced about the whole angel thing. What I am trying to convey is the things I do to try and make a difference are basically FREE. They cost me time and energy and I have both those things to spend. Selfishly, trying to help makes me feel good. In my universe, I’d be able to write big honking checks and throw myself into good causes, but I live in reality. And the reality is it doesn’t take money to reach out and try to help others.

If you are someone who has their check book handy and a little extra cash, visit http://www.stbaldricks.org/team_detail.asp?id=1154&ud=15326617&cd=USCTBR06

March 9th, there is a big fundraiser for pediatric cancer. Heads will be shaved and a fun time will be had. I’ll be there, full head of hair, and leaving with a full head of hair. AND you can write a check or use a credit card to donate. Pediatric cancer SUCKS. Don’t want to donate, look around your community and see if there is something you want to get involved with. It doesn’t have to cost you a penny.

For last year’s St. Baldrick’s fundraiser, I made a donation of $20.00. Because my name is Abby, “A-B-B-Y,” out of the 85k or so raised, my name was at the top of the list of donors. I looked like a PLAYER. I chuckled every time I looked. For a short while, I felt like a genuine philanthropist. That was 20 bucks worth of fun and maybe it even helped.